Divine InnerBitchin’

As the mother of a now twenty-two year old, I thank God each and every day that my daughter has arrived at adulthood bearing as few scars from adolescence as can be managed these days.

No addictions.

No out-of-wedlock children.

No arrests.

Not even, unless you count her pinky toe, a broken bone.

For all of the fighting and fewding that occurs between the two of us on a daily basis, she is, by all accounts, a really good kid. When she came home with her first real falling-down drunk I accepted it, helped her to bed, and watched and waited for her reaction… it hasn’t happened since. She, like I, was the child who always told her friends not to run with scissors. And, when her teenage friends started hanging out at the clubs and doing ‘X’, she struggled to maintain the friendships, but eventually let them go. She has never been one to follow the crowd, and that is something for which I am eternally grateful, especially, in light of stories such as this.

Now, I ask you….How much must your child, now a young adult, be in need of acceptance in order to accept as part of a ‘ritual’ of belonging the wearing of fairy wings, and blonde wigs?

Women’s underwear? No problem.

Hot dogs? Bring ‘em on.

Of course, every parent’s dream is that their child be popular, right?

No. Not right.

Wrong! Very, very wrong!

Bad parent! Bad!

I fell like pulling aside every parent I come across at the mall and slapping them across the nose with a newspaper.

Teen girls getting boob and nose jobs. Abercrombie and Fitch panties with naughty messages written across the crotch. Halloween costumes that resemble tranny-hooker attire. Rap videos wherein both men and women are made fools. And, video games wherein cruelty is rewarded.

What the f–k is wrong with people?!

Supply and demand….

These wretches continue to be available in an ever more shocking and graphic nature because parents continue to purchase it for their children.

Why? Because ‘all the other kids are doing/wearing it’?

Parents, the next time your child uses that line on you, remember the line your parents used to retaliate….

“Yes, dear. But if Johnny let his frat pals stick a Johnsonville up his ass, does that mean you have to do it too?”

Damn, people!

Now excuse me while I go puke.